Sunday, February 28, 2010

What's getting warmer, again?

Global warming's something that I don't so much disagree with as much as I am skeptical about. Correlation's too weak to explain it all, if you ask me. Well, my skepticism can have a post of its own, but I can't make it read funny. So, this one's really about attributing a pattern to hypes. So you'll have your own guide to know when to run; right before the Shit hits the fan!

If I had to propose a theory, I'd say the stages progress like this -

At first, those dumb weeklies (or the center-spread tit-bits of tabloids) make a mention or two before the very last page.

Then, the kids in high-school forever looking for cooler things to add to their identities acquire card-carrying allegiances. Or is it more like signing up for groups on FB, these days?

Then, some politician incapable of effecting any change'll cover it in his speech to sound intelligent and global. (Do you really need examples, here? I bet just about anybody from the EU shall do!)

A little later, there's a James Bond movie with this new thing as its theme, (you're excused if you don't remember Quantum of Solace.)

And then, the next-rated action flick tries a me-too, (Yes, I'm guilty of watching Transporter III one lazy afternoon).

And finally, your next date mentions it, just to sound intelligent. (Feeling lazier than ever? Watch Dare to Date on Channel V, it IS hilarious!)

You really wish your Sunday magazines would lighten you up with nice cartoons but those aren't working for you. Your only option mid-air is a semi-respectable daily's literary section to encounter this dumbest interviewer ever! Read this -

"The Museum.. is a love story. When all around you, there is war, recession, poverty, and terrorism, not to mention climate change threatening the planet, how can you possibly sit down to write a love story?"

Gosh! If that sounds stupid enough, the author being questioned is the acclaimed Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk!!! That can shake you off your seat and send you rolling on the floor laughing! Happened to me.

The point is, the nut-heads have successfully turned the problem on its head. From being our responsibility towards caring for the planet (And those who still think of it as such can't imagine the fight!) into a scarce-resource allocation problem on how much CO2 can each nation emit until a certain date. Now argue all you want, this is a Cake Cutting Problem; and I'd say it with certainty that it will not find a solution anytime soon. A just solution isn't simply single-valued.

So if you ask me; I'd say, before someone turns that fan on... Run for cover!

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  1. Brilliantly put I say... Makes a lot of sense.. :)

  2. Its the same with every issue these days:)..